A Mattress Sale
by long live marshmallows
Summary: ONESHOT: "Note to self," Tsuna thought. "Never, EVER let my dad self deliver a mattress home. It's a surprise that we didn't all die the first time around, with Lambo throwing his grenades and Gokudera sitting on the mattress on top of the car while we're on a highway and with Ryohei running after us...Okay. I'm going to stop talking now."


**A Mattress Sale**

_ONESHOT_

_..._

**A/N: **Okay, so I noticed that I haven't been really active lately, and you can blame that all on my school. So, I'm just going to post this one shot before I go underground again for another month. Hopefully I'll be back by the end of June! Enjoy this in the meantime. :) Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors.

**Summary:** ONESHOT: "Note to self," Tsuna thought. "Never, EVER let my dad self deliver a mattress home. It's a surprise that we didn't all die the first time around, with Lambo throwing his grenades and Gokudera sitting on the mattress on top of the car while we're on a highway and with Ryohei running after us...Okay. I'm going to stop talking now."

* * *

It was a hot Saturday morning. Tsuna was sleeping peacefully when Lambo suddenly burst into his room, with I-Pin right behind.

"Nyahah! You'll never catch me!"

"Lambo! Give back toy!"

Tsuna groaned. "Nnn…" He flipped onto his back and sighed. "Fight somewhere else, I-Pin, Lambo…"

Lambo saw that he was trapped. In order to get to the window, he decided that Tsuna should help him out. He jumped onto Tsuna's stomach and then to his head.

"_Ite!_ Lambo!"

"Nyahaha! This toy is mine now!" Lambo disappeared.

"Sorry, Sawada-san," I-Pin said with a deep bow.

Tsuna grimaced and sat up. "It's not your fault, I-Pin. Lambo's the one who decided to use me as a spring board."

"I will teach him lesson!" I-Pin declared and jumped out the window.

"Ah! That's not…never mind," Tsuna said.

"Ciaossu!"

"Hiie!" Tsuna's head snapped to his doorway. There stood Reborn with a smile on his face.

"It was about time you woke up."

"W-Why didn't you wake me up?" Tsuna asked cautiously. Something sparked in Reborn's eyes.

"Do you want to lay back down so I could wake you up?"

"Hiie! No thanks! Forget it! I'm up!"

Tsuna tumbled out of his room and ran down the stairs. Reborn landed on his student's head to enjoy the rest of the ride.

Tsuna was slightly unbalanced but managed to reach the kitchen unharmed. When he got there, his mouth was wide open.

"Kaa-san!"

Nana was humming a tune when her son came in. "Oh! Tsu-kun! You're just in time for breakfast! Eat up!" She turned around to finish yet _another_ plate of steaming food.

"What's with all the food? Is Tou-san back or something?" Tsuna was still standing, looking at all the rood. There was a roast turkey, fried chicken and noodles, drum sticks, fish, berries—basically anything fit for a feast.

Bianchi, Fuuta, I-Pin, Lambo, and Reborn were already digging in. Tsuna touched his head and wondered when Reborn got off it.

He sat down himself and helped himself.

"Hai, Tsu-kun! Your father has come home!"

"W-Where is he?" _He better not be drunk again,_ Tsuna thought.

"TSUNAAA!"

Tsuna jumped at the voice of Iemitsu. "Tou-san!"

"So did ya miss me?" Iemitsu patted his son on the back _hard_ before taking his own seat. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and baggy jeans.

_I just saw you a few days ago at that meeting Reborn dragged me to,_ Tsuna yelled in his head.

"Anyways," Reborn said abruptly. All eyes were on him "I'll be away for today."

"What? Why? I thought we were going to the mountains or something," Tsuna said as he cocked his head.

Reborn raised an eyebrow. Tsuna said quickly, "Not that I'm complaining or anything!"

"Ten more laps extra when I come back."

"Hiie…"

"I'm off," Reborn said.

"Stay safe, Reborn," Bianchi said and cuddled Reborn.

Tsuna looked down at his plate. It was empty. He looked at the plates on the table. Empty.

"Reborn, not again! You stole all the food!"

"Mama, I'll be back by tonight," Reborn said to Nana.

"Is anyone going with you?" Nana asked worriedly. "You shouldn't go anywhere alone, Reborn-kun."

"I'll have Leon with me," Reborn said reassuringly.

For some strange reason, Nana was fine with this!

Tsuna shook his head in amazement at his mother's reasoning. Reborn flew off with Leon as his wings.

Before Tsuna could complain with all these sudden changes to the day, he heard voices coming from the front.

"_Juudaime!"_

"_Tsuna, you there?"_

Tsuna swallowed his mouthful and ran to open the door. He tripped just when he reached there.

"Ow…" He turned the knob and saw three of his friends waiting outside.

"Morning, Tsuna! You alright?"

"Juudaime! Are you hurt anywhere? Here? What about here?" Gokudera was immediately at Tsuna's side, seeing if he was injured at all.

"I-I'm fine, Gokudera-kun. 'Morning everyone," Tsuna smiled. "I thought we were meeting at Yamamoto's place…"

"It's an _extremely _sunny day, Sawada! It's great that you asked us to help you today!"

"Haha! Yeah, I'm sure it will be fun!"

"Eh? What are you talking about?" Tsuna furrowed his brows. "I didn't…"

"Oh! So they're here!" Iemitsu came up from behind Tsuna. "Come on in, you three! I'm glad you agreed to help us!"

"Anything for Juudaime!"

"We had nothing to do today anyways," Yamamoto said and laughed.

"It will be _EXTREME!"_

"I don't understand," Tsuna said in protest. "What's happening today?"

"We're going to get mattresses!"

Tsuna sweatdropped at his father. "We're…going to buy mattress…es…?"

Iemitsu grinned widely and nodded. "There's this new super store some way off. It will take about an hour to walk, so we're going to take the car instead!"

"The…car?" Tsuna repeated.

Iemitsu nodded solemnly. "The car," he said. "So you go get changed and I'll bring it around!" Iemitsu ran off to get whatever car he was talking about. Tsuna scratched his head but went to do what he was told. He came back down in a blue t-shirt and shorts.

"Kaa-san, I'm going with Tou-san to buy some stuff."

"Have fun~!"

"Where's Tou-san?" He asked Gokudera when he closed the front door. I-Pin and Lambo were with him.

"He's just coming, Juudaime!"

Tsuna looked down the street and saw a flashy red car coming at them. It fit five people—two at the front, three at the back.

Iemitsu rolled down the driver seat window. "Well, what do you think?"

Tsuna frowned. "How are we going to fit all the mattresses into that tiny car?"

"Haha! We'll just strap it onto the roof with some string and all!"

"Hiie! That's dangerous!"

"Don't worry, Juudaime! I'll keep you from harm!"

"Th-That's not what I'm worried about!"

Tsuna's complaint was ignored.

"Pile in!" Tsuna's father said.

Yamamoto sat at the front while Tsuna was crammed into the back between Ryohei and Gokudera.

Lambo and I-pin joined them for the ride and were bouncing around the car throughout the entire ride.

"Tch! You stupid brat! Stop bothering Juudaime!" Gokudera snatched Lambo from the air and yelled at his face.

Lambo's mouth trembled. "Gotta…stay…calm…Whaa! WHAAA! BAKADERA!" Lambo began to pull things out of his afro and throw them around. A lollipop got stuck on the window, and grenades were tossed everywhere.

"Ghaa! Lambo, don't!"

"Lambo, no cause trouble!"

"Stop causing trouble, you dumb cow! Don't make me blast you!" Gokudera pulled out his dynamite sticks in case Lambo didn't get the point.

"Hiie! No, not in here, Gokudera-kun! _HIIIIIIIIE!"_

"Whoa, there!" Iemitsu cried and swerved to the left to avoid a blast. Yamamoto laughed and turned his head to look at the occupants at the back.

"Hey, looks like fun! Lambo, do you want to sit with me, up here?"

"YAHAA!" Lambo screamed and jumped off Gokudera's head.

Tsuna groaned weakly. He was sure that his hair was burnt at the top, and no doubt, his face was bruised from the kicking and elbowing.

"That was an _extreme_ explosion!" Ryohei pumped his fists in the air. "This day is getting even _more_ EXTREME!"

Tsuna put his face in his palms. "Ugh…this day is getting crazy."

The trip through the store was abnormally normal. There was no mess and no arguing. Once the two mattresses were bought and taken outside, they stared at the small, innocent (battered) red car for a full minute.

"Well, let's get started!" Iemitsu cheered.

"W-Wait! Tou-san, you can just strap on some rope and hold the ends! What if it falls either to the back or the front?"

Iemitsu waved aside his son's worry. "It'll be fine! I'll just drive slower! Hup!" He raised both mattresses onto the top of the car.

"Yamamoto, could you go to the other side and hold onto the other end of the rope for me?"

"Hah! Sure!" Yamamoto jogged to the further end of the car and waited for Iemitsu to toss the other end of the rope to him. When that was done. Iemitsu did the same with two other ropes, evenly separated so that the ropes could be tied by the occupants inside the car. Then, they could hold down the mattresses.

_Yeah right, like this is going to work!_ Tsuna cried out in his head. _Were the hell is Reborn?! I think I'd rather train with him than suffer the embarrassment of riding in this car!_

"It's going to _fall!"_ Tsuna tried to convince them.

Iemitsu was already in the car.

"Juudaime, I'll sit on the mattresses! That way, you won't have to worry about a thing!" Gokudera said with a gleam in his eyes.

"No, Gokudera-kun, that's not allowed! What if the police see us!?"

"Then I'll blast them to smithereens!"

"That's the way ta do it!" Iemitsu said and cheered. "Go on, Gokudera!"

"Hai!" Gokudera clambered onto the roof and made himself comfortable. He gave Tsuna two thumbs up.

"See, Juudaime? No problem!"

_BIG problem!_ Tsuna thought.

"Then I'll sit at the front and grab hold of the rope there," Yamamoto offered with a grin.

"Yamamoto…you're not supposed to encourage them!"

"This is definitely _extreme!_ I'll stay at the back and run after the car to make sure it doesn't fall backwards, Sawada!"

"Hiie!"

"No, stop, wait!"

"Come on, Tsuna. It'll be fun!" Yamamoto ushered Tsuna into the right side of the car and had his friend in before he could let out another word.

"Hiie! Let me out! Ow! What's this?" Tsuna looked at the rope which he held. The other end was over the mattress and threaded through the window. Iemitsu leaned back to reach for both ends and tied them. Then he guided Tsuna's hands so that each held a firm grip on both sides of the mattress.

Tsuna could see at the front that Yamamoto was holding one end of his rope while Iemitsu planned to drive while having one hand on the other end.

_I have a crazy family. This is never going to work…and Gokudera-kun's sitting _on the roof! _And Onii-san is going to chase after the car…_

"Are we all set?" Iemitsu asked.

"All set!" Gokudera hollered from above.

"Haha! Ready!"

"I'm not…" Tsuna grumbled. I-Pin and Lambo were taking up the rest of the space at the back.

"YOSH! LET'S GO TO THE _EXTREME!"_

Iemitsu started the car and sped away.

"Hiie! You said that you would drive slowly!"

"Don't worry! Nothing bad will happen!"

Tsuna sighed and turned to watch I-Pin and Lambo—where was Lambo?

"Lambo?"

"What's wrong?" Yamamoto asked.

Tsuna tilted his head to look out the window. "Lambo?"

"NYAHAHAHA! Lambo-san wants to sit here too!"

"Hiie! Don't, Lambo! You'll fly off!"

"You Stupid Cow! Get off before I place bombs on you!"

"Lambo-san's not afraid of you!"

_BOOM!_

"_Hiiiie!"_

"Whoa, steady there," Iemitsu said loudly.

Tsuna looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that Ryohei was right behind them, not even out of breath. And Tsuna was pretty sure his father was going about 90 kilometres per hour.

"_EXTREEEEEEEEEEEME!"_

"Stop bothering me!" Tsuna heard Gokudera shout at Lambo.

Tsuna would have tried to grab Lambo and drag him back into the car, but he was worried that if he let go, something terrible would happen.

"Lambo, come down here and I'll give you candy when we get home, okay?"

"No! Lambo-san wants to stay up—WHAA! WHAA! Bakadera hit me! Whaa!"

Tsuna facepalmed. "Oh gosh."

_POOF!_

"Tch! Adult Lambo!" Gokudera said in distain.

"Yare, yare…where am I?"

On the top, Adult Lambo was squishing Gokudera. He looked around and saw Ryohei running behind the car.

"Yo, Ryohei. What are you running after?"

"Oh! It's Sawada's _extreme_ friend! Did you come to help us bring the mattresses home!?"

"Mattresses? Home?" Lambo finally noticed the rushing road beneath him. "AAAAAAHH! I'm outside a car! Whaaaaaaaaa!" Tears came out of Adult Lambo's eyes. Tsuna sweatdropped.

"How is it that his five year old self wasn't afraid of being there, but he is?" He asked himself.

Iemitsu laughed. "Maybe he experienced something that caused him to be like that—whoops!"

"Watch the road!" Tsuna scolded.

"Sorry, sorry!"

BOOM!

"You finally got off me! Do you know how _heavy_ you are!?" Gokudera demanded. "Now get off so I could complete Juudaime's mission!"

"I'M NOT GETTING OFF." Adult Lambo's eyes were filled with fear. Gokudera's foot was on his face as he hung onto Gokudera's arm for dear life.

Another explosion sounded. People on both sides of the busy streets stopped to stare at the sight of an expensive-looking red car with two mattresses over the hood, with two teenagers fighting on it, and not to mention the other teen chasing after the car at a steady pace, shouting out _"Extreme!"_ now and then. To add to that, there was a crazy driver who kept swerving away from his lane due to the explosions coming from the two teens on the hood, plus the laughing one sitting on shotgun, and a cowering teen at the back.

Tsuna tried to hide his face.

_I don't know them, I don't know them, I don't know them, I don't know them, I don't know them,_ he chanted in his head.

When they were almost home, Tsuna was sure that the mattress was in ruins. Even if it wasn't, he was never going to sleep on it. The only thing that would come of it would be the nightmare of this crazy ride to the store buying a mattress with his dad.

"Gha! The mattress is going to fall!" Tsuna said, not for the first time.

"I won't let it, Juudaime!" Gokudera shouted to be heard over the wind. The five year old Lambo was back and complaining at full force. "God, you Stupid Cow! You're so annoying! I should just toss you off the roof!"

"_HIIIIIIIIIIE!_ Don't do that, Gokudera-kun!"

But it was too late—the deed was done. Lambo was thrown off the side of the car and went tumbling away.

"LAMBO!"

"Whaa! Tsuna! Save Lambo-san!" Lambo was crying and still rolling on the road.

Trucks and cars honked as they tried to avoid hitting the odd moving object on the ground.

"I'LL SAVE YOU TO THE _EXTREME!"_ Ryohei screamed and ran after Lambo.

Tsuna only began to relax when Ryohei caught Lambo and returned him to the inside of the car.

"Thanks, Onii-san!" Tsuna looked at the dirty baby on his lap. Lambo was holding onto Tsuna's shirt tightly.

"Lambo bad," I-Pin said and started a small lecture.

"Car roofs are scary!" Lambo wailed.

Iemitsu chuckled from the front seat. "Maybe that's why his future self is scared of them."

Tsuna shrieked. "That's not funny!"

"Sorry, sorry…" Iemitsu chuckled softly and shook his head.

Tsuna then heard Gokudera swear. "Eh…what was that, Gokduera-kun?"

Gokudera stopped swearing and poked his head down. "It's nothing, Juudaime! It's just that the mattress shifted a bit to the tail end of the car. Don't worry! I'll fix it right up!" He hollered.

"_Hiiiiiiiiiie!_ DAD, ARE WE HOME YET?"

"Nearly there, Tsuna! Just a few more minutes."

For Tsuna, those few minutes were the longest ever. For one, the rope he held to was becoming very hard to hold onto. He had a feeling that it was because either Gokudera was doing his best to hold it where it was, or it was beginning to slip too far to hang on to.

Then the car stopped and he released a breath.

His grip slackened as he slouched on the seat with Lambo still on his lap. He groaned. "Next time how about we order a delivery truck?" He asked.

Then he heard a thump as Gokudera fell from the roof of the car to the pavement.

"Gokudera-kun!"

His silver haired friend jumped back to his feet with a wide smile on his face. "Yes, Juudaime?"

Tsuna sweatdropped. "…Never mind."

Nana opened the door and looked in surprise. "Oh? You brought the second one over already?"

"The second one?" Tsuna said.

"Mhmm~ The first one that came in Bianchi's van was dropped off just a few minutes after you left."

"Kaa-san…There was a van. That…held the mattress inside it," Tsuna repeated. He wasn't sure if he heard his mother correctly. She nodded. Tsuna collapsed in defeat.

"We went all the way there for nothing!?"

In the background, he could hear Iemitsu, Yamamoto, and Ryohei laughing as Gokudera knelt by him anxiously.

It was indeed the most perfect way to start a Saturday morning.

**THE END**

* * *

_**-LLM**_


End file.
